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User blog:GravityMan/Literature vs History 10: Merlin vs Rasputin
Check out this asshole before you read this, he's fucking brilliant Hey guys, welcome to the latest installment in Literature vs History! Today we got wizard advisor whose downfall was lust vs wizard advisor whose downfall was lust, thanks to Leandro for the amazing cover, Insert User Name Here for reading it in advance and giving me feedback, and I think Bran or TK for the same thing, idr. Also huge shoutout to Purple and Quagga for figuring out the hints. Anyway, let's go: Beat Black Magic Starts at 0:29 Lyrics Rasputin: This will be a slam dunk for the Mad Monk spitting mad funk, You’re just a sad Brut, battling the cad drunk with the fat junk! Punk! Imma man of God! Sent here to bag women and the rap, You were sent to babysit a little cuck and wipe his tight little ass You couldn’t save him from betrayal, heartbreak, even incestual rape While I saved my prince from death, changed an entire empire’s fate! Your screwin’ led to your demise, so I gotta ask you what you’re doin’ To be ripped apart by the cold heart spitting the wrath of Rasputin! Merlin: I have traveled many leagues, seeking an answer for all life, But instead I find a savage, who knows only death at the mic You felt for your beloved brother, Rasputin you in the ice, And the burned bones tell me your legend is just not up to size! Like the empire you respected, in this rap you won’t be lasting! For a man about sex your wife’s bed is more dead than your casting! Battling me? It’s not just your sausage in a pickle, And Arthur heard the Key to Alexei’s healing involved tickles! Rasputin: WHAT? This weathered testicle dares to question my manhood? I’m thirteen inches with shrinkage from the Russian winter, understood? And while I fuck fuck fuck, I wasn’t in Alexei but there’s a bit of him in me! In the form of power, control, and untouchability! FEAR ME! You sold out to BBC, while my country sold itself to me, Serving you like Round Table, with a second Queen on her knees! As a cure for Camelot’s famine I’ll sow my seed in your home, How can you match my magic with no crystal balls in your robes? Merlin: You’re not in my fears, just another knot in my beard Your people will gather for the heat, when I sear this seer! And not one good exchange back? But you have a nose for dick! By God, how can you heal anyone, if you make, them, sick? Gah! I made Stonehenge, you made a new STD, When an innocent Mother Russia was violated by this monkey! Your death left you a jar, at least I’m still alive on cable, In the end the cold killed you; that’s why my rhymes are so fatal WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE LITERATURE *sparkles and shimmers* VS HISTORYYYYYYY Poll Who Won? Rasputin Merlin Hint for Next Battle Category:Blog posts